Divine Imperfections

He does exist

You know the classic M&M's commercial that starts playing about this time of year? The one where the M&M's, Red and Yellow, meet Santa?

Well they do.

They're up late, stirring, and suddenly the Big Man appears. Decked out in his red suit and signature beard, there Mr. Claus is, in the flesh, eliminating any the doubts they had.

And Red's response is epic.

" He does exist ! "

 

Well that's how I feel this year, spending the holidays with the love of my life. A man I've been "wishing" for, waiting for, for a very long time.

It took a lot of lonely nights, a few heartaches, plenty of doubts, and lots of prayer.

But now I can finally proclaim," He does exist ! "

And I'm pretty stoked about that.

Merry Christmas friends! Hope you have a wonderful day surrounded by people you love.

 

Made for Each Other

Sunday we had a pretty epic White Elephant exhange at our church. Mikael and I went in with one mission:

Come home with what we took. (Yea, we're pretty awful.)

I wrapped both our presents up really nicely - both the pretty, angelic ornament and the priceless ($2.99) gift snagged at Goodwill. And thanks to people still juding books by their covers, the one we really wanted to go home with was selected first.

After it was opened it sat untouched for a while. Things were looking good for us snagging it back, until halfway through our mission we encountered unexpected complications.

Lint rollers!

Three different gifts of lint rollers to be exact. One, a box full of lint rollers. One a lint roller with a  small trophy attached. (The trophy had $5 tucked into it.) And the third lint roller, was stuffed with $50!!!

Yikes!

I was pretty nervous, until when it was Mikael's turn to choose, he admitted to our friends his growing dilemma.

"Well, the $50 would be really nice, but, I also really want the  - - - - - - ."

 

People laughed. Then Mikael settled on the cash. (I couldn't really blame him.) 

But when the $50 was confiscated, he went straight for the gold.

My heart welled up with pride.

Not only had my lovely fiance selected the perfect gift...

it reminded me that I've definitely found the perfect man for me.

Who knew an outhouse would say so much. ;)

What can I say, it's a match made in heaven!

It's Beginning to Look a LOT Like Christmas

   

Last week my friend/coworker/bridesmaid extraordinnaire, a.k.a. Gwen, and I decided to deck the halls at the place where we punch the clock.

The teal tinsel tree was rescued from my room back home - which still had my Christmas decorations up from last year, thanks to a hasty January move - but everything else came straight from the supply room (or coffee bar).

Don't worry. We'll eat or return it all after the holidays.

I wish I could take credit for the really clever stuff - the PostIt note ornaments, the colorful paperclip garland, the patched together paper tree skirt... but that was all Gwen.

What I can say I contributed, though, was a lot. It was a whale in fact.

Afterall, nothing says "Merry Christmas" quite like a Shamu angel (complete with wonky paperclip halo).

Now, I'm off to the boondocks to see some Christmas lights and pay too much for hot chocolate.

"Merry so-close-I-can-smell-it Christmas," friends.

Can't wait to be home for the holidays and to hug you all.

An Out of Office Experience

You've reached the phone rambling blog of Jennifer.

I'm sorry I'm away from my desk right now. I am headed to Dallas to enjoy a delectable array of smoked meats.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I awake from my food coma.

 

Beeeeeeep!

Baby, It's Stinking Cold Outside

I hate the cold. Literally, I hate it.

I've never been bit by a scorpion or knee-d in the groin (and don't really have to worry about that one), but I imagine being cold will always rank among my least favorite feelings in the world.

Last year, while freezing IN my parents' house, my mom would regularly ask if I was alive, 'cause from the feel of my hands she wasn't sure.

And at least a few times this year, my kind, patient fiance has pried my hands from his face/arm and said, "Baby, your hands are cold."

I know!

My hands are cold. My toes are cold. My face is cold.

 

In that sense, I can very much commiserate with the plight of the dalmations as they walked through the snow. (Remember, "I'm tired, and I'm hungry. And my tail's froze. And my nose is froze. And my ears are froze. And my toes are froze.") I hear ya Lucky! I hear ya.

 

But I'm really wasting time chasing some very cold little rabbits, while trying to make a very big announcement. I'll focus now, or try at least.

 

When we got engaged, Mikael and I fairly quickly settled on a spring wedding. Partly because summer felt hopelessly far away, but also largely because I wanted to have our ceremony outside.

And I didn't want to be cold.

I wanted to be comfortably warm on my wedding day, which seemed reasonable at the time, so we set our date - March 31.

It seemed perfect. We secured a location, the ranch where we attend church on Sundays. (It overlooks the Brazos and is perfect for long, relaxing afternoons enjoying the outdoors. We dreamed up ideas about our families dancing there, and eating bbq there...)

And, over Thanksgiving week we ordered lovely little Save-the-Dates setting 3/31/12 in stone (or at least postcard).

But... the thing about plans is...

Sometimes, they change.

 

For a lot of my life I've been concerned with my comfort. And, I've worried about living up to other people's expectations (real and imagined). I've chosen the path that seemed "right" according to my guidance counselor. And heeded advice from friends and family.

I have sought the Lord, but I haven't wholeheartedly dedicated myself to His will. Instead, I have listened to a million different voices (don't worry, most of them have been outside my own head) when all that really matters is One.

 

Well, the past four months have been absolutely insane, in the most wonderful way. And along with a lot of other changes, the most drastic, apparent and wonderful is the fact that the man I have been praying for, and at times searching frantically for, all these years has arrived at last.

And, as a fictional man once said, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!"

 

So, over the past few weeks Mikael and I have made some big decisions, very quickly... and put wedding planning into super speed.

We've decided... to get married January 6th, instead of March 31!!!

 

Yes, it means lots of long nights stuffing envelopes. And making some compromises on bridesmaids dresses and flowers. But I know all the stress and rush will be so worth it in the end.

Because instead of waiting for Spring, we will get married in the dead of Winter. And I'll have three extra months to enjoy being Mrs. Aguilar!

 

When we first discussed moving the date I had only one pressing question for my future husband.

"Do you promise to keep me warm?""

He didn't miss a beat before saying "Of course."

And that's why no matter how cold the temperatures drop... how frozen my hands feel... how many layers I have to wear over my dress... I'm not worried about getting cold feet.

'Cause "I've got my love to keep me warm."

Simple Solutions

Wednesday was one of those unbelievably good days when everything miraculously just started falling into place.

I found a wedding dress. I ate pizza. I tackled a DIY project and it actually looked like the example. 

It was a good day. A great day. Life, was good.

 

And then there was Thursday.

 

Minor changes become major overhauls. Seemingly simple choices involved a lot of compromise. And even the foolproof chicken sandwich I ordered for lunch, proved to be more foulable than I imagined. (What, a bummer.)

It wasn’t a good day.

 

It was stressful. It was frantic. It felt like a Monday. 

Frankly, it was a great big giant (figurative) kick in the butt.

 

But I started wondering, once the dust had settled, did any of that mean that life isn’t good?

   *Spoiler Alert: These just might be our invites, by the talented (and extremely patient) Sarah of HeSawSparks.

My tired logic told me that if Wednesday, life was good, but only because we were overwhelmed with our friends’ generosity, or because a pretty dress fit right off the rack… if it was only good because the bank account was in the black… and we finally found the perfect shade of teal for our invites…

Then yea. By that logic, Thursday would have been just as proportionately bad.

 

Because I drank too much coffee and got a tummy ache… and because our relatives couldn’t find our registry… and because that dress that fit off the rack cost a little more than I wanted to spend…

It must have been a bad day. A very bad day.

You might even call it a very bad, no good, rotten day...

 

IF that logic were true, then life would be fairly horrible, something to be suffered through.

 

But, thankfully, that’s not really how life works. At least, it shouldn’t be. It doesn't have to be.

 

Yes, our moods can be largely influenced by our circumstances.

Our stress levels fluctuate based on the length of our to-do lists, the decimal points in our checking accounts, and any other number of odd mathematical equations.

 

But at the end of each day, our attitudes aren't actually dependent on our circumstances.

They are determined by our choices.

 

That’s sometimes a hard truth to swallow, but there it is nonetheless.

 

Do we search for joy in the midst of our struggles?

Do we see a challenge as an opportunity for growth?

Do we dare to ask for help when we need it most???

 

Or do we give up (or become hopelessly discouraged) when the going gets tough?

 

Do we throw in the towel – or throw out the stupid printer – when things don’t go our way?

Or do we take a step back and ask what we can learn from the frustration?

More importantly, do we realize who we should call on when we face catastrophes (both the epic and temporary kind)?

 

I’ll be the first to admit, often I don’t.

 

I’ve spent more than my fair share of days sitting around sulking.

Thursday, in fact, I was tempted to buckle under the stress (and hide out in the bathroom at work ‘til the day was done).

 

Thankfully, my friends and fiancé talked me out of it. 

They helped me see the bigger picture – not the Pixelated one I spent hours messing with in Photoshop, stupid invitation insanity!!!!! - but the one where life isn't bad because it's impossible to find the right pantone for a turquoise blue.

They reminded me that life isn't meant to seem awful just because of the occassional (or in my case, frequent, stupid, self-induced) stresses.

And at one point, they pointed out the mantra emblazoned on my shirt (if not my heart).

 

That’s what life is meant to be, I think... so much simpler than we make it.

It shouldn't constantly be a struggle. Or feel like an hour spent beating your head against a wall (or your own head).

 

There will be trying times, yes. Complications? Definitely. Days that aren’t smooth as ice; those are guaranteed.

 

But when we have faith, genuine, soul-stirring faith, the bad stuff pales in comparison to the good. Because everything dims when we are focused in on His glory!

It's when we lose focus (or focus on all the wrong things) that life can start to feel like it's falling apart.

 

Maybe what’s most important then – on those less than great days – isn’t our resolve to suffer through, or our ability to overcome, but the decision we must make to surrender to His will…

Maybe learning to look for Him, and praise Him, regardless of our circumstances, is the simplest (or at the very least smartest) solution of all!!

My Romance

LAST Tuesday night (time is flying by) Mikael and I celebrated the four month anniversary of our meeting, the most perfect way I could imagine.

 

He made me hotdogs!

 

If you know me at all, you know that the ever-classy composite meat has long been in my top five favorite foods (along with corny dogs and sausage kolaches).  So the fact that he chose to make homemade relish and do the dogs up right that night was a thoughtful, much-appreciated gesture.

 

What’s even cooler, though, is that I wasn’t the only one represented by our dog-dog (as my mom calls them) feast.

 

That’s right. Mr. Vegeterian prepared yummy veggie dogs, which was a first for me, and a bit of a victory for him (as he’s slowly trying to bring me at least partially over to the dark/meatless side of life). Also, his homemade relish made me totally rethink my condiment choices (ketchup and mayo generally). He's definitely proving actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to things dispensed by squirt bottles.

 

 

And while hotdogs and chips might not be many people’s dream-come-true for a romantic, anniversary (monthaversary technically) dinner, it really did seem right for us. In fact, one of my favorite things about Mikael is that he has helped me appreciate the beauty of discovering what is just right for US.

 

As a people pleaser to the core, it is a sign of God’s grace at work that I have wound up with a man brave enough not to waste time worrying about what other people think.

 

He wants to know that we are right where we should be, doing exactly what we should be doing. And so long as we are, he’s good!

 

Even if everyone else isn’t happy, he is, when he knows he’s following God’s lead. And seeing the peace he experiences trusting in our Lord, makes it a little easier for me to let go of desperately trying to pacify/please everyone (which wedding planning has taught me, simply cannot happen).  And this frees me up to focus on what really matters, on Who really matters, and to enjoy life – woohoo!

(I'm a work in progress, for sure. I still stress - a lot - about things that don't really matter in the big scheme of things. Hello, 900-step, DIY-ish invitations... But I'm learning to let go, more and more. And I'm thankful for Mikael's patience as I do.)

And, speaking of the wonderful way Mikael complements me… As a questionably-made meat lover, it’s probably really good for me that he has increased my veggie intake by leaps and bounds (and eggplants and veggie sausage).

 

I’m pretty sure he’s added a few years to my life in the brief time I’ve known him, just by drastically reducing the amount of meals I have eaten at gas stations.

And while change – good or bad – always takes some adjusting to, I’m so very grateful for the changes Mikael has introduced to my life.

I’m even more grateful that God knew what He was doing when He led us to each other one night in August.

 

Here's a little toast to true romance, that doesn't need moons or even meat, just my love.

Image from Threadless, which sells super cute t-shirts.

 

Easy Like Saturday Morning

I LOVE lazy Saturday mornings, the kind where you sleep in, eat some breakfast, then veg out in pj's 'til the late afternoon.

Especially as it gets colder outside, and now that the Christmas tree is up, I so enjoy taking my time to make it back out into the world on the weekends.

So cleaning, shopping, I'm sorry you'll just have to wait. An English muffin and a cheesy Christmas movie are calling my name.

 

How do you enjoy your holiday weekends?