Usually when I think about what might have been it's a sad thing. There's remorse involved.
Morbidly I think about how much better life could be if only I had...
Bought Apple stock ten years ago. Or gotten in shape months ago (instead of trying to do it now). :/
But today is a happy day for Mikael and I. It's a day of celebrating what almost was, because it reminds us to be grateful for what we chose instead.
Today was supposed to be our wedding day, you see.
The Save-the-Dates were set. (And ordered. And they're now living in a box in our bedroom.)
We were all ready to walk down the aisle (of a field) in March. But God had other plans.
And so, on an uncharacteristically warm day in January we said our "I do's" in First Baptist Milford.
The same place we find ourselves today, almost three months in.
And as we maveled this morning, we couldn't be much happier that we changed the date.
"Do you remember what today is?" I asked him coyly in the car.
"I do," he said. With a sheepish grin.
And then I told him how thankful I was to wake up with him this morning, instead of waking up in a hotel nervous about tripping on my gown.
And it's true. There have been hard times. Moments when I thought "Oh gosh; what have we done? We rushed things. we weren't ready."
But at the end of the day, when I get to kiss him goodnight and lay beside him, I'm so thankful for the three extra months we've had to laugh and learn and grow together.
And I'm excited to see where the next three months take us, and the three after that...
Today I'm reminded how we must have made God laugh with the plans we made. And how grateful I am He had even better ones in mind.
Today I'm thankful for a chance to think briefly about what might have been, and then get right back into living in the moment. Living in today.
Our would have been wedding. :)