I want to curl up in the fetal position and cry, preferably under a blanket, so I can shut out and hide from the world.
When this is physically impossible, or after I’ve worked up just enough nerve to brave life outside the blanket, my secondary responses kick in.
Sometimes (like today, in light of the Boston Explosions) I turn to distractions, to take my mind off the troubles.
I spent the evening soaking in the sun and shopping for new plants, a chance to focus on new life, instead of tragic ends.
Sometimes I zone out instead, and become completely numb to anything and anyone.
The problem with this method of “coping” is that it’s hard to pull out of a zombie-like existence. And living on auto-pilot for any length of time, seems like a waste of precious breaths.
But ultimately, when the distractions cease, or I wake back up to reality, or I pull the blanket from over my head (or it gets taken from me), I must face whatever woes the world has thrown my way.
And it sucks. Can we say that?
Sometimes, facing this messed up world we share sucks.
Don’t worry. This isn’t where I post a picture of a cat and say something about hanging in there.
Those words are too trite to touch on a hurt of this magnitude.
What I will say is that I’m thankful we don’t have to face hardships alone.
I’m thankful for heroes that run in when they’re needed most, like those we saw today.
And I’m thankful there’s A Hero we can call on any time.
(Yes; the graphics are cheesy. But I love the lyrics.)
Weeks ago I listened to this song on repeat, while going through a tough time personally.
Tonight I’m so thankful it’s written about Someone who cares enough to hear each of our small, silent struggles, yet powerful enough to offer healing for the deepest wounds throughout the world.
In this quiet living room. In Boston. And beyond.
We may not know why bad things happen. I sure don’t, and I won’t pretend to.
But I am thankful that deep in my soul I know the bad stuff isn’t the whole story.
Above and beyond heinous acts,
there is always bravery and goodness and HOPE.
Hope is the result of seeing heroes in action.
And Hope exists in knowing that eventually Love always wins.
I pray that something here, in this song or even this confession of my own cowardice, might give your heart some hope.
Hope to face tomorrow.
To cry as needed.
Knowing you're not alone.