It was one of the first songs I ever heard him sing, in fact.
At the little home church responsible for our meeting.
I sobbed that first Sunday I heard him sing, because I knew my life would never be the same.
They were happy tears, tears of overwhelming gratitude.
But they were mixed with just a hint of fear, as so often accompanies gigantic life changes.
(Funny how that works.)
"Then sings my soul, my Savior, God, to Thee. How great Thou art."
He is a good God, I believe that at my core.
But I doubt it sometimes (often, if I'm honest).
When times are hard. When bills are due.
When my patience is thin.
Or my burdens are heavy.
Still, when I see a hauntingly beautiful sunset, or smell honeysuckle for the first time each spring...
I can't imagine that coincidence brought those things about.
Just as I can't believe it was mere coincidence that brought us together - Mikael and I.
When I watch the love of my life pour his heart and soul out through a microphone and a hollowed piece of wood, I know that life is bigger than what I can see on a daily basis.
I know there is Divinity at work, because I see it at work in and through him.
In spite all my doubts, all my struggles, I trust that He is a good God.
Some moments the trust just comes easier than others.
Listening to my husband sing is one of the moments that faith comes easier. And I'm incredibly grateful for that.
Saturday Mikael and "the boys" (see above) performed a free concert in my hometown.
And while I was busy "preparing" for that show all day - getting the gang pumped up on coffee, running last minute errands, trying to learn the difference between phosphor bronze and 80/20 bronze strings ...
What I didn't do, in my manic state, was take a single second to mentally prepare myself for what was about to happen.
In fact, had my dear friend not been there to point out the magnitude of that concert, I might have missed it completely.
Thankfully, she was there, my oldest friend. To point out the obvious truth I was missing in my haste.
Entering the gymnasium where we had played volleyball together...
Where we attended pep rallies, and shared secrets, and developed crushes on all the cute older boys...
It struck her, what a special moment that was...
Walking into a dimly lit room, where a bearded man stood confidently behind a mic.
She looked at me and said, "Can you believe it?"
And I couldn't. I really couldn't.
Her wise question is all it took for a flood of memories to sweep over me.
So many sleepless nights wondering why my latest crush hadn't called.
Trying in vain to win hearts, with humor. Or the answers to our history homework. Or tighter jeans.
Wondering if anyone would ever like me, in spite of my blemished skin and hidden insecurities.
Worrying, that I'd never be able to trust someone enough to let him truly in.
Back then I was sure I'd die miserable and alone, surrounded by cats that would eat my remains. (Maybe that's why I still have a rough time around cats.)
All because the boy in seventh period hadn't noticed my (poor) attempts at flirting.
Or because my tenth-grade crush cared more about keggers than trying to woo my needy heart.
But Saturday... all those bittersweet memories played quickly, like a music montage, capped off by an unimaginable joy:
Watching a man who has and will see me at my worst, a man who knows my toughest struggles, my biggest fears, and loves me the same.
It reminded me how grateful I am, for a great, loving and patient God.
One bigger, and infinitely more wise than I could have imagined at 17.
One I know will continue to astonish me for the next 30 years of my life, and more.
One with the good sense not to give me everything I ask for, and instead to make life a little more challenging and a lot more interesting.
And so much better than the plans I sketched in my composition books.
This God has long been in the business of catching people off guard.
And taking them down paths they never dreamed they'd go.
And I, for one, am thankful He works in mysterious ways.
Leading us precisely where we need to go, in His own perfect (bewildering) time.
Oh Lord my God,
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds
Thy hands have made
I see the stars
I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout
The universe displayed
Then sings my soul
My Savior, God, to Thee
How great Thou art
How great Thou art