What else do you do when you’re iced in?
Reflect. Bake. Watch unholy amounts of HGTV.
Scrapbook your December, which thus far, has been mostly self-quarantined.
Think. So much thinking.
Too much thinking.
I never noticed until recently just how “don’t stop, won’t stop,” my OCD brain is.
Crunching budget numbers. Calculating calories. I hate math, but it haunts me at night, when all I want to do is count sheep.
It’s like I need some ridiculous puzzle to fix, in order to be at “peace.”
But it’s not that peaceful, always thinking, always overthinking.
It’s kind of exhausting actually. Kinda obnoxious really.
That’s why I’m so ready to retire, from the over-reflecting.
I read the other day that we should glance at the past, but not stop and stare.
While that flies in the face of everything One Republic taught me, I think it’s true.
We should learn from the past, but not live in it.
That is a balance that’s hard for people like me – the overthinkers, the undiagnosed OCD’s – the ones whose brains are never quiet, even in their dreams.
I don’t want to miss out on the beautiful present, because I’m lost burrowing through the past.
But it’s hard for me to let go.
It's hard for me to simply move forward.
What am I saying? Where is my head?
Honestly, it’s on the vanilla scones I baked this morning, which are filling the house with a heavenly aroma.
I hoarded those vanilla beans for months, ‘cause they were so flippin’ expensive.
But then I thought, what good do they do me stashed in a cabinet?
Plus, how delicious would a scone be, with my coffee, on this frigid December morning?
Turns out, super delicious.
And that got me thinking about all the other things I’ve been hoarding.
Memories, photos, stories I’ve been sitting on, instead of sharing.
Like they’ll lose something in the telling. Or maybe that they’re not worth the light of day.
I’ve been clinging to them like they’re “my precious,” instead of realizing how much joy can be found in loosening my grasp.
How much freedom would be found if I would just let go?
The ice is slowly melting outside, which means the car’s defrost may finally get a rest.
And I think that my overthinking brain might finally get one too.
Today it’s time to get back outside, back to life among the living, outside my zombie state.
And I think I’m ready for that, more than ready for that.
To be back out there, in the throws of it.
No longer hoarding ideas, and memories, but making new ones.
This is another post inspired by the Five Minute Friday series created by Lisa Jo Baker.
I know I sound like a broken record, but it's such a great exercise in freeing your mind (clearly, something I need!).
No worries, just writing, for five minutes solid (a little more if you cheat like me).
Even if you don't want to share your work, I really encourage you to give it a try.
You never know what you might have to say.
Happy Tuesday friends.
Hope you're staying warm.