Life is a blur today. Of excitement. And nerves. And things I desperately want to shout from the rooftop.
But once again, I must wait patiently until the words comes. That or climb up onto my house and shout a bunch of random gibberish.
iwoweinoibhwoeijoiujolgjOISDOFIHOIEOTIHOISODIHFOIHOEIHWKDLIOOWERJJVOOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I get the sneaky suspicion I'm not that good at spelling gibberish.
Anyways, to call this all an awakening seems a bit too strong. Like the day I had a revelation about Chex Mix. (Wow am I a nerd?)
But whatever is happening, I am experiencing a new lease on life. An opportunity to breathe freely (in spite of the ragweed) and believe in my heart that life does extend beyond 26.
And while those may sound like profoundly simple things, for my extremely warped heart they are anything but.
They are the most joyful news I have heard in ages. And they stem from the Greatest Story Ever Told.
I think a big part of what's happening in my life right now (and I suspect in the lives of so many of my friends) is that God is trying not to laugh as He reveals His plans to me (us).
Through song, through Scripture, through supportive words from my friends and family and through the Holy Spirit, He seems to be reassuring me (us) that not only has He had a good plan for me (us) all along. He has been unveiling it in pieces for all of my (our) life/lives.
He hasn't been hiding His will behind His back and singing "nannynanny boo boo" in my face, like I've sometimes thought.
He has been showing me glimpses of it all along, when the timing has been right. Meaning not in my time, but in His. Which is way, way better considering I don't even wear a watch.
So after years and years of waiting for my story to begin, today I find myself ecstatic that it has in fact already started.
And I'm even excited that now I have a chance to run, run, run as fast as I can in an attempt not so much to catch up with everybody else, but just to feel the rush of being part of the race. (I hate, by the way, how often I make running analogies. They make me nervous I may have to dust off the New Balances pretty soon.)
Anyways, lest you think I'm right back worshiping God's golden life map again. Today I find myself basking not in answers. Or directions. But in the depth of God's grace which brings freedom I can't begin to describe.
Freedom that sets my heart a fire, and my feet to dancing like a school girl in a perfect twirling skirt.
I truly hope that in the near future I can sit down with many (if not all) of you, and tell you about the great things God is doing. Which is, to tell you about the great God I am still just discovering a quarter of a century into my journey.
Simply witnessing Him at work is amazing. But to realize I've been invited to take part in it is almost mindblowing. As if He just sent me a golden ticket to work in His cosmic candy factory. Where the works of His hands are so much sweeter than I can dream up on my own.
I may not have a roadmap today. Or the words I crave. Or any theologically groundbreaking Truth to impart. But I do have a glorious blur. And grace that is more than sufficient for me. Grace I want to share with the world like the Great News that it is. Grace that is reaching out to all of us with unbelievably long arms.
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