Awkward & Awesome: Double Toilin' Trouble

Soooo this is gonna be a weird month. What with trying to keep up with two blogs, trying to find a two-bedroom apartment, and trying to make it back to the gym more than twice a week. Eesh.

But, it'll be fun too, right? All this doublin' up!

Like a Wrigley Spearmint commercial. Or one of the old Olson twin movies.

 

With the extra/pointless work I've added to my carb-filled-plate, though, I might not be able to write such horrendously long posts here. So I hope you (hi Sister) can settle for shorter entries, like 800 words instead of 1,000. Starting...

NOW.

You didn't think I'd go off to college "fashion blogging" and forget about Awesome & Awkward  did you? That's so sweet. You did. (I hope you got that Sister.)

Well I didn't. Quite the contrary. Instead I decided this would be a good chance to let the two worlds collide, and do a bit of a fashion edition. Let's have some fun.

 

* For day one of the 30for30 I decided to wear white, pink & coral. So naturally, I wanted to take pictures in front of the prettiest pink-graffitid wall in town. Only...

That wall is behind a tattoo parlor. Which is next door to a strip club. A popular one from the looks of the parking lot when I drive by on my way to Bible Study every Thursday.

Soooo.... I did what any committed "fashion blogger" would do. I picked a time I thought would be safe - and with decent light - and parked. By the back of the tattoo parlor/front of the adjacent strip club.

And there, I sat in my car for twenty minutes talking to a friend. But that felt weird. Especially since there was a real/realistic human head hanging from a stick out back. So... I got off the phone. And got out of my car.

And set up my tripod. In the parking lot between the tattoo parlor and the strip club.

Not a problem, right? Totally innocent!

Well the first few shots were okay in the sense that NO ONE saw them. But, like Alec Baldwin in a particularly funny episode of "Thirty Rock," I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands? Holding two coffee cups was not an option. So a lot of the early shots looked like this... (see below). I'm thinkin' it might should be my "signature pose."

Needless to say the simple photoshoot ended up taking quite a bit longer than expected. And, as time progressed, and my poses kept getting weirder (I frequently looked like I had to pee) more and more people started pulling in. NOT to get rockin' arm art, mind you. But to see ladies a lot LESS clothed than me.

I wanted to think the guys that started showing up in droves would at least be impressed with my daring selection of white pants. So I even told myself this when a few started congegrating and staring from several feet away.

But, then I reassesd the situation.

And my ensemble.

And their unhappy looking faces.

And that's when I realized...

 

A fully clothed girl with a big camera and tripod... in the parking lot of a strip club.... looks like TROUBLE.

And not a fun kind, obviously. The PI kind. The kind that wins wives mega money in nasty settlements.

The kind I'm sure some of my new friends would have liked to stuff in the trunk with the tripod I packed hastily after my realization.

Yea, that was day one. And yet... I proceeded.

*This morning, excited to sport my new-to-me gingham shirt, I was a little neglectful of my legitimately new pants. I ripped the big tags from the butt, the way my Mom taught me.

But as I struggled to lock my back door, in a rush to get to work, I was stopped by our sweet - and observant - maintenance man.

I smiled big as I prepared to wish him a great day, until he cut me off with...

"Ma'am. Um, there's a tag on your, ummm... hands motion to my bum region.
Cheeks flush. All our cheeks flush actually."

I had remembered to pull the big tags, all right. But I forgot to get the four-inch long neon sticker announcing my hip width to the world. OOPS.

So much for starting the day with confidence.

Still, Que Sera Sera, I say. I'm not gonna let a little sticker on my bum ruin my day. Just like I'm not gonna let tripping over a 1/2 inch heel get me down. Well, figuratively at least.

Just like I'm not gonna let a few (or several hundred) really awful pictures keep me from finishing this silly fashion challenge.

I don't know if continuing to do the same thing expecting different results is insanity or faith. But, onward I go.

Thanks for those of you rooting me on (and laughing behind my Size _ _ back).

 

 

I hope everyone is having a really wonderful week. Filled with lots of AWESOMENESS and Father-pleasing fun.

Miss you guys. Don't be strangers. I know now where we can get coffee, frozen yogurt, and dragon tats. ;)

Comments

[Jen]

Meats and sweets sound wonderful, though I still think "Sweet Meats" needs to happen. That is a date for sure. If it's possible I think my clothes are getting more comfy with me, but thanks. And yes I owe you a column last month. As soon as I think of something without a strip club I'll be sure and send it your way!

[Donnita]

Hey girlfriend! you are too cute, too funny and I love the way you are becoming more and more self confident in your own skin ..... or clothes .... whichever! Don't you owe me a column like real soon?

Next time you are in Princeton (except for this weekend, of course!) I'll take you to Meats & Sweets. I'll bring Wyndi. You bring Jess. It'll be mad fun!