This is it RIGHT HERE.
This is what I dreamed of. This is what I waited 27 years to find.
This is what I hoped and prayed for.
And no, it's not just a fridge filled with Frappucinos making my heart swell. Though that is ohhh so nice.
Tonight is about a sweaty boy in a dirty sweatshirt and tennis shoes, tapping along to the beat he's created. Giant, dorky headphones on his ears and a duct-taped guitar in his calloused hands.
I'm feet away click-clacking on a computer, and snapping photos with my poor, banged up camera.
I'm perfectly content in this utterly surreal moment, drinking the world's most expensive Frappucino, as my husband pointed out before we came here.
I had called it "free" before he wisely reminded me of its true cost.
This single, bottled mocha Frappucino has involved crazy nights, and barely attended concerts... unread blog posts and nasty fights... it's required removing drum parts from banged up trunks, and shoving cameras in purses... and letting bandmates with tummy troubles crash on the couch, and Friday nights to be filled with tracking... it's taken horrible auditions and puff pieces written to pay the bills... and it's cost us time, money, a semi-cross-state move, sweat and countless tears about chasing what seemed like unattainable dreams...
But, mostly, it's demanded reminders, at every point, that the impossible is actually possible. If we're willing to put in the leg work. And committed to making it happen, together. As a team.
The sweaty boy in the band. The girl with her little blog. And the God that saw fit to bring them together, under a star-lit sky and a circus tent.
Husband is recording his guitar parts for his band's first album as "Stargazer" tonight.
It's one of many nights that we've already spent here, in a quaint studio in Dallas, where the fridge is overflowing with Frappucinos and the bear-skinned rug is "faux," but adorable.
I've been blogging about fear, and what it takes to overcome it, while looking at the face of a man boldly conquering electric guitar riffs, a man so determined to make it that nothing can stop him, though a lot of things have tried (including, at times, my pesky fears).
But here we are. Right now, right here, doing what I always wanted most in life.
We are pursuing our dreams.
As individuals. And a couple.
In big and small ways we're doing what we were born to do, which is share our stories, through sentences and song.
We're confessing our questions, doubts and struggles, and proclaiming the source of our hope, grace and binding love.
We're doing life, together.
Supporting one another. Learning from each other.
Spurring one another on, to be braver, and better than we could have been alone.To do more, and push harder than we would have, had we not met.
And that myriad list of reasons is why this seemingly simple moment - this scene with the sweaty boy and the empty Frappucino bottle - are so totally priceless to me.
'Cause it's the culmination of eight months (and really 27-28 years) of struggle, to get precisely to this place, this tiny pin-point in time.
We have next-to-nothing figured out, no savings to speak of, no backyard to barbecue in, no five-year plan mapped out... but we love each other, and the Creator of the stars... and for tonight those truths - and the fridge stock piled with not-so-free Frappucinos is more than enough.
My bottle overfloweth.
This has got to be one of my favorite blogs yet!
Posted by: Katie Belle Carl | 10/16/2012 at 09:35 PM