Five Minute Friday: After

Life after Easter feels different somehow. 

We’re in the throws of Spring.

But the weather is saying otherwise. 

 

In many ways my heart feels stuck.

Like a lukewarm piece of freezer meat floating in a bowl of stagnant water.

 

The dethawing has begun.

But there’s still so far to go.

 

Growth has begun. 

But there’s still so painfully far to go.

 

 

I’m thankful to be here, I remind myself daily.

But I also feel unprepared somehow.

 

As if I’m late for something, or frantically entering a crowded room trying to find a seat, with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose ('cause in this scenario I wear those), and my report in my other briefcase (assuming I own one).

 

I don’t know what that means.

I only know I feel like I’m being prepared for whatever comes next.

 After all this weirdness.

 

After this very long five minutes... 

What do I have here?

 

Any coherent thoughts?

Profound wisdom?

Hardly.

 

What I do have, after so much overthinking, so many sleepless nights, so many big dreams deferred…

Is a line from a Pixar movie, floating around my head (pun intended).

 

Just keep swimming.

Just keep swimming.

 

And I think that’s what I’ve got to do.

 

Even when I feel like a broken record.

Even when I feel I have nothing worthwhile to offer.

Even when I’d rather crawl back into my shell…

 

I have to keep swimming instead.

Keep swimming ahead.

 

For now I’ll focus on keeping my head above water.

 Trusting that after it is all said and done, things will turn out alright.

 

And I’ll be grateful for the company with me on this journey.

And I’ll be grateful I don’t have to figure everything out to get started.

 

Afterall… everyone has to start somewhere.

Here is where I start.

 

*If you want to know more about Five Minute Friday, or to participate, please visit Lisa Jo Baker's page.

It's a great community of writers that get together each week to free write on a prompt.

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Comments

[Ruth Povey]

In love with this post - you echo my own feelings and you write so very fantastically! Just keep swimming - I'm right there with you. Unprepared and taking it a day at a time. Beautifully honest.

[Jen]

Esther, I'm so glad you like the graphic (and that I'm not alone in having seen that movie a couple of dozen times). :)

And thank you for the encouragement. (I hope you already saw that I enjoyed your beautiful blog post yesterday.)

Laura, I think you're absolutely right that Texas' notorious weather makes it a bit harder to fully embrace spring. I hope you enjoy your authentic seasons in MI. (I swung by your blog this morning, and enjoyed your take on FMF as well.)

[Laura Hedgecock]

I used to live in SC, but now live in MI. It's easier to embrace the coming of Spring when it actually feels like spring.

I enjoyed your post.

Laura Hedgecock
http://www.TreasureChestofMemories.com
http://www.Twitter.com/LauraLHedgecock

[Esther]

I love your last picture 'Just keep swimming' it's pretty! And yes, that line from Nemo has been used so often on my blog as well haha :)
It really helps to keep the reminders simple but to the point :)

My heart has felt stuck many times too,
I can relate with your sharing, that whole process .. as raw (pun intended haha) as it sounds :)
But yes, we just keep swimming in obedience.

May the Lord shine His face upon you Jennifer :)

xoxo

[Jen]

Jenn, first I must say, I love your name. :)

I also love that the line from Nemo is so quotable that I knew when I typed it people would hear Dory's voice sing-songing it. Such a great movie, mantra.

I also really appreciate the poem you posted. What great words about continuing on. I may have to print that for my own desk.

I look forward to reading more of your posts too. Good good stuff.

Thanks for "stopping by" and for leaving such an encouraging comment. It means more than you might know.

See ya on the web. :)
Another Jen

[Jenn]

Dora? In Finding Nemo? I could just hear Ellen D.s voice saying that line. It was echoing with a poem I have that says "don't quit". On my blog, here, you can read the poem: http://jennspeacornpopnuts.com/2012/08/01/dont-quit/

It is important to keep swimming. Very much so. I hate those kinds of inept feelings that swim around me sometimes - what a battle it is to fight against some of these things. But, whatever it is ... keep swimming. Don't quit. Where is it that it's said "Quitting is not an option"?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Keep swimming. ;) Jenn