Divine Imperfections

Who had five?

Order's up!!!

Ever been the person staring blankly at the waitress with her hands full of hot, heavy plates? You want to help her, really you do, but you just can't remember what you ordered. Well, that was my table today. Oops! Full of joy. Full of sweet tea, and completely unable to get our orders straight.

We were a motley little party of FIVE. The lunch bunch. Work friends. Me and three wonderful ladies (and one man) whom I'm going to miss very much in FIVE short days.

Now you KNOW I wasn't joking about the hair. I honestly didn't realize just how bad it is 'til I saw this picture. Yikes! SOS!

The last few weeks (the ones since I committed to leaving) have really flown by. I mean every second hasn't. Some seconds have been eternities long. But somehow it's nearing December, and I only have five lousy days of work left. Five incredibly busy, overwhelming, bittersweet days left.

With all that's going on you probably thought I forgot about FIVE for Friday last week. I didn't stop in after all. But I didn't forget. Honest. I got a nice little blog all started. One that paid homage to my ultimate hero. :) In fact, it was practically ready to publish but then I second-guessed it to death, as I often do.

And now that little post is sitting in a morgue of drafts that will probably never see the light of day.

I seem to be second-guessing a lot lately. Decisions mostly. Decisions like leaving what has been a wonderful job for a big scary world of ???? I've worked with great people here. I've learned so much from them. And even managed to have some fun. It makes me want to plop down on our concrete office floor and say "nuh uh. I'm not going. Changed my mind. I'm staying here forever!"

But...

I know it was God's voice that told me to leave. It was His leading, not just my own selfishness, that led to my letter writing. And it was definitely His grace that prepared my way out.

Still, it's hard to deal with the consequences of that decisions. The ramifications of it, like cleaning out two years worth of e-mail and council notes for instance.

I have to go. I know that. I trust that. But it's hard to leave the familiar to step into the unknown. It's hard packing years worth of memories and belongings into a little cardboard box. (More on that later I think.)

But I have to. I have to go. And I have to let go. So that I can move forward. Thankfully, graciously, in this particular instance moving forward also means moving... 

Sorry earth for using styrofoam. But thank you Sharpie, for making it so pretty.

WEST! At least for a few weeks.

You were right Allison! I'm gonna eat in Arizona. But also in Oregon. And California.

And I was almost gonna eat in Missouri 'cause they had a lot of cool places listed and more importantly because I'm super bad with geography. But my co-pilot (not God in this case but my good friend Ginny) brought me back to reality and informed me we will be driving through Montana not Missouri. So yea, I'll be eating in Montana too. And Wyoming. And Washington. And Nevada. Maybe Utah. New Mexico. Oklahoma. And Lubbock. Probably not in that order.

My big plan? It's a roadtrip. One scheduled to commence bright and early (noon) Dec. 6. One that will take place for approximately two weeks for two girls (plus some precious cargo we'll pick up in Cali).

I'm really excited about it. I mean, what's not to love about eating at diners, drive-ins and dives? But in addition to gaining plenty of pounds, I'm also excited about the opportunity to shed some baggage out on that open road. To let go of a lot, while leaving everything behind (if only for a time).

A while back I shared on Facebook (and may have shared here) some wise words I stumbled upon. Technically they are about writing but they are also about life. Beautiful, messy, painful, wonderful life.

"It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights,
but you can make the whole trip that way." - E.L. Doctorow

As a single, soon-to-be unemployed twenty-six year old gal, I don't know that I need some good "excuse" to pack up a few weeks' worth of clothes and just take off. To enjoy freedom. To have a grand adventure.

But I am thankful to have a really, really good one. And that's that I truly believe this is an opportunity to praise God for bringing me thus far, and to marvel at how He will continue to 'cause the road to rise up and meet me.

 

*I know there aren't a lot of numbers in this post. I hope you aren't terribly disappointed that I'm slacking on the math here lately. It's just that, maybe I was wrong to put a limit of what God can do (even for the sake of alliteration). Quindee if you're reading this I hope you are relieved. Maybe it's time to let the floodgates of thankfulness open, even if they knock me over. So very thankful for a God able to do far more than I can imagine. So thankful for friends He's sent my way to join me on the journey.

Jackson FIVE

"ABC. Easy as 1 - 2 - 3." Catchy right? So upbeat. Well it also happens to be perfect inspiration for today's educational-style Five for Friday. 

To be perfectly honest I just about forgot to post something five-related today. It's been a longgggg week yet again and my brain's been a bit scattered. (Hence the bad blogging.) But since it is finally the weekend and the smoke seems to be clearing. And since I do in fact have things I'm thankful for, it seems appropriate to share them with you now.  So here goes five very good facts for this fine Friday evening.

1.    Packaging tape can melt onto windows. So unless you (unlike me) enjoy scraping goo off glass for a living, I'd stick with alternative methods of decorating.

I'm super weird I know. But I am NOT super boring. So I couldn't show you pictures of tape on windows.
Instead I decided to show you the clown I "accidentally" decapitated during decoration removal. You're welcome world.

2.    Minions really like chocolate. And/or diving. And/or buckets. Of course it could just be they have a hard time balancing the weight of their heads. (Which is understandable considering those things are massive.)

Little Minion Kevin had a major craving for some chocolate.

3.   Midriff baring is not appropriate for work. It doesn't take Stacy and Clinton to figure this one out. But apparently it does take a stern warning to your sixth button to abide by this rule.

Pictures: Old grey pointy flats and the bad bad button. Also pictured, but fuzzy, a really pretty scarf.

4.   Thanksgiving is crazily close. Something we discussed yesterday, but something I hadn't really given a lot of thought to until Thursday, when I had to write a very important letter. It was a letter that required I know things like what day Turkey day falls on, so that I could successfully tell important people that...

I've spent two years writing for a living and this was the hardest thing yet. Go figure.

5. The day before Thanksgiving will be my last day of work.

I would have shared that news yesterday, during the countdown, but I needed to make sure it had plenty of time to reach the powers-at-be first. Now that I know it's filtered through the chain of command, though, I'm happy ecstatic to announce that Nov. 24 will be my last day at the Herald.

For those of you who aren't from around "these here parts," I have spent the last two years as a Staff Writer for my hometown newspaper. And it has been awesome, truly.

I got to see my city in a whole new light, meet wonderful people... take a million random pictures and make just as many wonderful memories. I have learned more than I ever cared to know about AP style and high school football, and more than I dreamed I would learn about service and the importance of storytelling. 

I have been absolutely blessed to work where I have, with who I have, and yet I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is time for me to move on.

It hasn't been the easiest decision to make. "A million things are never easy to discard," as Sara Groves put it. I've waffled back and forth. But when I seriously began praying about it a little over a month ago, I knew it was time to go. When that answer alone wasn't enough to nudge me out the door, though, God sent a light kick to the butt* that finally did the trick. It came in the form of a call from a friend, one who was concerned I seemed "lost, scattered lately." She wanted to know if I was okay. We talked, and her words of encouragement proved to be just the confirmation I needed to make it official. To acknowledge what God had in fact been telling my heart that it was time to move. And now it was up to me to be obedient, to listen and act on that call. (*I realize getting nudged or kicked doesn't always feel good at the time. But aren't you glad we worship a God who doesn't give up on us. That even when we are at our most stubborn, He finds ways to get us where we need to be. He is sooo good like that! And if you are deeply offended that I have used the word "butt" I trust He'll help you get over that too. :) ) 

To be perfectly honest I'm not sure what exactly I'm moving on to. It may be some fantastic job in the big city writing website descriptions for a gourmet cupcake bakery*. Or it may be somewhere down the street serving drinks in a green apron. (*A girl can dream, can't she?)

Whatever happens though, even during this unknowing, I am confident that God will not send me anywhere His love won't abound.

While thinking how to break this big news to everyone (at least it's big news to me) I kept repeating a line from "Seussical" over and over in my head.

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant; an elephant's faithful 100 percent."
- Dr. Seuss

I'm not sure what made that line come to mind but I'm glad it did. 'Cause even though life is rarely as colorful as Seuss' portrayals. And though love is never as easy as the Jackson Five made it sound. I do believe that God desires for us to live more joyful, love-filled lives than we often choose for ourselves. Not that His biggest concern is making us happy, but that He provides joy when we are growing in Him, walking with Him.

I don't mean to make life sound overly simple. I know it's not. We all face things that perplex us.

But I, for one, tend to forget what seems impossible to me is more than possible to God. What seems hopelessly complicated to me, is nothing He can't handle. I forgot that He fashioned the world and keeps it moving at just the right speed that we don't all fall off and splat. So He's probably capable of keeping little old me moving in the right direction, and at the right pace too.

In other words, if God was able to create the mountains, and move them like He says... then He can probably push me up and over the hills of East Texas. And maybe even beyond. 

Though it is yet another completely random anaolgy, the best way I can describe my life right now is an epic game of Twister. God has already said in his booming, Charlton Heston voice, "Right foot..." And so I've lifted my foot from the comfortable dot it's been resting on. And now I'm waiting patiently uncomfortably for him to say "Green," or "Red," or "Blue" or "Yellow."

Right now my foot is up in the air, my life is up in the air. And I'll be honest, it's not the best feeling in the world. But there is joy here. Peace here. Knowing I'm in the game so to speak. Knowing I'm being obedient to what He has called me. And knowing that I am called to place my trust not in my own abilities, my mad Twister skills, but in Him.

Even if I fall flat on my face trying to make this next move, I know it will be worth it. Because He is a good God who said what He meant. He is absolutely faithful, 100 percent.

I'm thankful today to serve a gracious God, a loving God. Gracious to have taken a half step towards Him.

I'm thankful for His timing and provision. And even for his kicks in the butt (or bobo if you are my mother or a kindergarten teacher). I am thankful that when life seems crazy, hard and even impossible to me. He is standing there saying "I've got this." I am so thankful that He's got me.

Him and me, kind of like 1, 2, 3... a simple equation that makes all the difference. "That's how easy love can be."

 

*All this in mind, if you know someone needing my freelance writing services please give them my card. Particularly if they work with cupcakes. You can promise them that I will find shirts with stronger buttons. :)

Five for fall

October is nearly over. Pretty soon (in normal parts of the country at least) it will start getting cold. So before this lovely weather passes us up completely, I present five happy things about fall (otherwise known as reasons I'm grateful on this fantastic Friday).

1. Pumpkins. They're plump. And pretty. And a lot of them smile at you with adorably wonky teeth. Those are my favorites.

2. Super soft sweaters. 'Cause they're fuzzy. And comforting. And you can stock pile 'em when they're cheap, in the dead of summer.

3. Bags of candy. This is the ONE time of year you can stock up on rot-your-teeth-out goodness, without a store clerk getting to judge you or steer you toward the toothbrush aisle.

4. Secrets. As in choosing not to tell the cashier you live in a gated apartment complex/the boondocks/or just completely lack self control... and that you will not be sharing a single piece of that candy you just filled your cart with.

5. America. It's election season, true. Which can get pretty dirty. (Am I allowed to say this?) In fact, at times it scares me far more than any of the vampire/horror crap that comes out at Halloween. But, I'm still thankful to live in this country. A land of peace, mostly. And freedom.

For most of us our biggest concerns this weekend will be what costume to wear, what neighborhood/festival to hit up for loot. But... what a blessing that is the case. It's something I'm definitely humbled by and grateful for.

 
I'm also really glad my mom won't be wearing this terrifying dog mask again. She said it was "cute." I said "creepy." Who was right?

And way more importantly, what are you thankful for this Friday?

Five for the future, five for the past

Five for love, and the ways that it lasts.

Five for walks in the sunset, and for grace without bounds.

Five for silly songs, and things that are round.

Five for really bad poetry and really great afternoons.

Five for football, and coffee and nostalgia-filled tunes.

Five for family and friends and people who remain close when away.

Five for learning from the past, but being thankful for today.

 

I know this isn't my typical "Five things I'm thankful for" Friday post. I also know it's super corny and won't be winning any poetry awards.

But I hope you'll oblige me this opportunity to rhyme. I couldn't help myself. And it's all Rascall Flatts' fault.

While driving into work today a good cheesy country tune came on the radio. (Why the sudden onslaught of really corny, pop-style country? I dunno. But who cares. Tell me you don't smile and roll down your windows when you hear this one?)

Anyways, it reminded me of a lot of things... of  my sister's graduation and the big adventure she is on. And of other friends who have gone off to chase their own dreams. Some others who have come home for the same reason.

And it reminded me how free I felt when I finally realized that life is about being in the moment. Being present with the Lord wherever He might have you.

Not trapped in the past. Or lost worrying about the future. But in the moment, which thankfully just so happens to be a Friday. (Everyone smile here!)

I know I'm happy to be here. In this moment. What are you happy about, thankful for? (It doesn't have to rhyme.)

FIVE Ingredients: Short and Sweet

I'm super stoked about this Friday. So excited I'm using the word "stoked" which I only use on extra dorky special occasions. (By the way, I only know its definition because my parents used to have super dorky really "cool" sweatshirts that said "Stoked about Jesus" in giant letters. A-mazing!)

Anyways, not gonna muddle this up with lots of extra words. Just gonna tell you five simple ingredients that are making this almost weekend extra special.

Aside from "Stoked" I think "Fluff" has to be one of the funnest words ever.
So fun I just called it "funnest."
(Anyone remember the Friends episode where Joey learns about using "quotes?" Soo good.)

1. "Talk to you later." Pretty much the sweetest phrase EVER. One that about made my heart skip a beat this fine fall morning.

2. Spice cake sitting on our kitchen counter. Not 'cause it's my favorite cake - or because I baked it perfectly - but because it feels like more of an accomplishment than when I cook up another plain ol' vanilla cake. And 'cause it screams fall, especially when in the shape of misshapen pumpkins.

3. On that note, the semi-homemade buttercream waiting in my fridge at home is pretty exciting too. I cheated a bit and used salted margarine instead of butter (the horror!) but it still turned out surprisingly yummy. Plus it's really fun to dump an entire jar of Marshmallow Fluff (which let's face it is pretty FUN to begin with) in a big bowl and then watch as the electric mixer sends sticky goodness shooting across the kitchen to lodge itself on the sides of most of the appliances. (Sorry Mom.)

4. My sister's genius idea of taking myself on a date downtown is also awesome. So much so, this evening, without the pressure of having to brush my hair, I'm gonna drive myself to the library, pick up some books I'm really excited about, and plant myself at a coffee shop with something delicious to drink. All by my wonderfully lonesome self.

5. Tomorrow my alarm clock will not go off until way past 9. This is more exciting than anything I can think of. 

*As a bonus gratitude, I am sooo grateful for the love of friends and family on Facebook. I know it can be cheesy at times, but there is so much genuine encouragement to be found and shared through the "social network." And I think it's lovely. And I'm really thankful for that.

A lot of you have already chimed in on Facebook, what you're grateful for today. But if not, I hope you'll throw your hat in the mix. What are 5 things (or more) you are thankful for this Friday.

I'm just gonna go ahead and warn you that "Never Fail" is a slight overstatement. BUT, it is hard to make fluff taste bad.

Party of FIVE

Today's list is super easy. It's all about folks re-entering my life after some painfully longggggg absences. They're some of my oldest friends. And I'm so excited to see each of them I'm not gonna waste a lot of time on words.

Without any ado, here they are:

1. The California girl
2. The bearded brother
3. The Ginnnnnayy
4. The Yankee
5. The weekend

Here's to two and a half days with four fabulous people! Hope your weekend is overflowing with people you love and lots of FUN times! 

FIVE for Fighting

I've never been a fan of math. But I am, admittedly, a fan of Five for Fighting.

Even though it's pretty confusing that the Five is actually one man. One man that's "more than a bird, and more than a plane, and more than some pretty face beside a train" granted. But still, just one man. I like 'em. Can't help it. Just do.

And I really like his quirky lyrics, such as...

"Chances are, we'll find a new equation."

Yes it's sorta like a "I don't need you" to dreaded math. But more than that, it reminds us that love has a way of making a way. Even when there is no logical one to be seen.

Love has a way of working things out. And by that I mean, God has a way of working things out.

Something I'm thinking about this Friday, after yet another shockingly stressful, roller coaster of a week.

There are plenty of reasons to be happy this Friday (the fact it's Friday definitely leads the list). But there are also plenty of reasons to be sad.

Which is why today I'm choosing to be thankful for free will. Thankful I can choose to "make it a good day or not*." Thankful I can choose/make/create my own equation.

And here's how I plan to make it not just good, but the best Oct. 1, 2010 EVER!

1. Wake up without hitting the snooze. (You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not.*)
2. Have champage and tacos* for lunch.
3. Make adorable tags for all of my craft fair items.
4. Cut off my spray paint laden fingernails. And possibly my right arm if it doesn't quit itching.
5. Text at will. And literally thank God for unlimited data plans and texts. And...

so much more.

Happy Friday friends.

P.S. Tootsie Roll midgies to anyone who can reference either of these* two wonderful statements.

Well K-word

Dear Friday,

Your letter was already written. In my mind that is. Around noon today I all but signed, sealed and delivered your less than glowing review.

I was gonna talk about how no day should begin with a 30-minute conversation in which you are treated like a complete idiot. And how Monday and Tuesday have been a very bad influence on you Friday, cramming my inbox full of nonsense and causing the wrong phone to buzz nonstop.

And it was fine that you invited the orange-clad friends back over for lawn care, but I did not appreciate the way that blonde one was looking at me when I got out of my car. Made me think he might be making a run for it later with one of my valuable quilts or possibly the styrofoam cemetery  living in the front of my Solara.

This afternoon wasn't much better. What with the spending money on gas. And then an ATM. Because I had to pick the two gas stations in the world (both in Princeton) that still don't offer cash back - GRRRRR - and ...

It was a bad morning/early afternoon Friday. I always have such high hopes for you and so often you're this huge letdown.

At least that's what I was planning to tell you. Until...

You had to go and change my stupid mind. Friday you are one sneaky devil. And when you set out to change a girl's mind boy do you.

First the circus and then...

THE FAIR.

My heart skips a beat at the mere thought of The State Fair. But oh my good gravy what a delight it was. Even better than I remembered.

The second I reached the Midway and spotted those precious lights. Not to mention the foods. The sounds...  It was love all over again.

Footlong corndogs. Deep-friend Oreos. You can't not love the fair. Much like I cannot help but love you Friday.

Thanks for a truly lovely evening.

I know things might not work out between us. In fact tomorrow there's a really good chance I'm gonna take Saturday up on the offer of dinner and a movie. But that doesn't mean what we had wasn't great. Friday you are great. Just the way you are.

Don't ever let anyone, especially me, tell you different.

*The K-word refers to "crap" in our household.

**Someone please remind me to post fair pictures SOON!!! :)

My Fair Lady: V

I'm going to take a brief break this afternoon from my intense letter writing schedule to bring you a previously scheduled post. 

FIVE for Friday.

The state fair begins today. And this is exciting for oh so many reasons. But wanna gues how many I'm gonna highlight today? (Don't you LOVE questions you know the answer to?)

1.  Corndogs. Crispy corndogs. I cannot wait. I won't even throw a fit mind the fact that they are $4.

2. And the ferris wheel. The marvelous ferris wheel. With oh so many pretty lights to stare at.

3. Photobooths. This is particularly exciting. And I know I said things are better in color but this is one very good exception.

4. Funnel cakes... all coated in their powdered sugary goodness. So messy but so worth it.

5. Mat Kearney. I am really excited to see him live after adoring his music and his facial hair for many many moons. It doesn't hurt that the outdoor concerts are FREE once you've purchased your ticket.

I don't know what is on your docket this fine fall weekend, but I hope you'll remember to thank God for the good things in your life. Whether they come deep-fried or not.

And also, while you're at it go ahead and thank God for the imperfect stuff too, 'cause all things can be for our good thanks to His sweet  grace.

Now back to the program.

Ben Folds FIVE

Back when I lived in Abilene, which seems like decades ago, I was part of this really cool singles group that would do lots of fun things like go sit in coffee shops for hours. And sometimes, one of the regulars would play some tunes on the piano. Some that he had written - most about awful girls doing awful things. But also some really great covers, like one of this song by Ben Folds Five, which uncoincidentally is sorta about another awful girl.

And though I had heard the song before, I always really liked it when the guy I knew would play it live. Partly cause it's such an upbeat tune for such a sad subject. But also 'cause it fit my friend so well that if I hadn't known better I would've thought he wrote it himself... another of his spunky, hating on women kind of tunes with the surprisingly chipper sound.

Anyways, it's really strange to me the things we remember. Like why years later I remember this cover. Or sitting at a chess board with a boy I only kinda sorta ever dated. Or driving around town with my friend Erin collecting things we could use in a sandbox...  

For whatever reason after years of sifting through my old memories, those are the sorts of things that have stuck. Small things. Strange things. Simple things. Kinda weird, right?

Anyways, five years from now I don't know what I'll remember about my life as I know it now. 'Cause at this point it's still kinda hard to imagine every being anywhere but here. (Which I think we've established by now is planted firmly on the COUCH!)

But since I know eventually this too shall pass, into that mysterious land of memory, today's Five for Friday is one for future nostalgia. Super simple things I suspect I might someday miss.

Five really small things I'm super grateful for.

1.) Having my first cup of coffee each morning, which is of course an excuse to catch up with my friend/coworker Wyndi.

2.) My nightstand overflowing with articles and books I've been meaning to read, and sketchpads and art journals and... the stuff of life. Stuff that represents a lot of promise, a lot of anticipation. A lot of happy to-dos.

3.) The pile of random stuff on our living room floor, which is actually a pile of treasure in disguise. Treasure that will be unveiled at a local Crap Fair Oct. 2. JK, it's a Craft Fair, which should sound a lot more appealing. So check it out!

4.) My green pj shirt that I bought for like 50 cents at a thrift store. I think it has the name of a Spanish beer on the front, but I don't care. 'Cause it's printed in this really script and it's THE softest thing I've ever owned. So I look forward to when it makes its way through the wash cycle and I get to be extra super comfy again. (Lame?)

5.) KLTY. It may sound cheesy to admit you listen to a Christian radio station. It can, afterall, be really cheesy at times... like nights when everyone is supposed to call in and talk about what blessings their pets have been. (Too mean?) But there is also some really great music on there, stuff that happens to be incredibly uplifting. And I've noticed that when I make it a point to listen to more quality stuff than garbage, I can see a difference in the way I see the world. Or at least control what I start singing at my desk. So I'm really grateful for good radio stations to crank up in my car.

Now.... what are you thankful for this Friday?