Divine Imperfections

Weekend Update: A Date With Destiny

Last Saturday my husband said the magic words every girl longs to hear.

"Wanna go get breakfast?"

 

"Ummm, yes!"

 

That's really never a question in our house.

But I shouldn't have followed it up with this one either.

 

"Where you wanna go? Waffle House?"

 

His reply. "Is there any other place?"

 

Have I told you how  much I love this man?

 

In our book, there really is no better place to kickstart a weekend.

 

I'm so glad we share a love of greasy hashbrowns, strong coffee and surly waitresses.

 

I'm also thankful we could make it for our date with Destiny.

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Weekend Update: A Nearly Wordless Wednesday Post

For Better or Worse, and Even Really Awkward Marriage Conferences

Here we are, at the very start. Bright-eyed & with no idea what we were getting into. ;)

A few weeks ago Mikael and I spent about six hours at a marriage conference in Allen.

Though we each had our reservations about saying “yes,” we agreed to go at my parents’ recommendation.

 

I grew up thinking all marriages must be really easy – that’s how my parents made it look (those of you that know them can attest to this). But as a newlywed myself, my parents let me in on a secret - they actually put a lot of work into it.

One way they said they make their relationship work is by taking part in as many “learning opportunities” as they can.

So, my husband of a year and I heeded their advice and said a hesitant “yes” to the conference, a chance to learn as a couple (plus "yes" to the free hotel stay that went with it; that which was much easier to agree to).

 

Unfortunately we had a few weeks for our nerves to build up before actually attending the conference.

Would we be packed in a room with strangers (plus my parents, and a dozen couples from their church)?

Would we have to breakout into sessions without each other?

Would we be the youngest people there by several decades?

Would we leave feeling worse than when we got there?

Would they convince us we were actually wrong for each other? Toxic, like a Brittany Spears song/relationship?

By the time Friday came we were both on edge and frazzled.

It’s no wonder, really, that we had a pretty intense fight before leaving the house that day.

 

In fact, when we checked into the hotel we had once been so excited to stay at, the grandeur of the fine accommodations was lost on us.

We were still pretty sore with one another, and obnoxiously loud Abba playing in the elevator on the way up to our room didn’t help.


As much as I wanted the fancy suite, complete with Neutrogena travel toiletries, flatscreen and a full-sized Hershey bar, to magically end our squabble, or at least diminish our anxiety, alas… it did not.

Instead we continued exchanging cross words, and feeling miserable that we’d ever agreed to attend the conference in the first place.

 

And we felt this way all the way to the conference, which, very much like our predictions, did involve a large room filled with name-tagged couples, most of which looked a lot happier at that juncture than us.

 

There we were. Tear-stained newlyweds, barely talking, in a sanctuary filled with handholding couples straight out of a life insurance commercial.

We weren’t excited to be there.
We did not have high hopes.
We didn’t even like each other at that moment.

 

We wanted to be anywhere else but there. Most importantly we wanted time apart.

 

Still, we showed up. Reluctantly. Together.

And I’m so glad we did.

 

From the start the speaker spent most of the time talking about the differences between men and women.

 

And I know this sounds like “no duh” territory.

But for me at least, it really was beneficial.

 

Over and over the speaker used the phrase, “not wrong, just different.”

And it was through that lens that he shared humorous stories, sociological research and Scripture, all pointing to the idea that couples are brought together to strengthen and to complement one another.

 

And I liked that message a lot.

(I desperately needed to hear it.)

 

As an adult, as a wife, as a Christian, I’ve come to believe strongly that marriage was not made for people to live hunky-dory happily ever after, the way I thought it was as a kid (one that watched The Little Mermaid a few too many times).

Instead I choose to believe, and trust, that marriage was created to make life richer, fuller, and ultimately better, by allowing people to share it.

 

Their days. Their dreams. Their lives.

Messily. Majestically. Intertwined.

 

 

And what I took from the conference was just that - an expert, well-spoken survey of how our differences make us stronger…

Reinforcement that relationships were never meant to be easy. But also that they’re important.

 

All of life boils down to relationship.

With one another. With Creator God. With the people we share this planet with, especially the one we share a bed with.

 

 

And I don’t want to sound like I’m on a soapbox here.

In fact, Mikael and I agreed months ago that we’d try very hard not to share too much, and especially not to give advice about relationships, seeing as we’re still very much starting out ourselves.

 

We’re far from perfect. We’ve got tons to learn.

Plus it’s dangerous territory sticking your neck out like this.

 

We agreed our 40^th anniversary would be a good time to start explaining how we made things work, assuming we make it to 40 (if the hotdogs don’t do me in before then).

 

But…

 

I felt like this is one good exception to that rule…

Because what I’m sharing is advice carefully curated from other people’s research, careful study, and hard-earned wisdom, not my own…

And also because it’s important, what with relationships being what life is created around and all…

It seems good to share this information, even if it is abridged, and with a little personal history thrown in just for kicks (with approval from my hubby).

 

 

I hope just hearing this tiny bit will give you a bit more appreciation for your S.O. (Significant Other’s) unique traits.

I hope “not wrong, just different” will prove an argument diffuser the way it has around here.

Mostly I hope that you’ll be reminded how the best things in life require a bit more effort, but are way more than worth it in the end.

 

With or without the chocolate incentive… like that Hershey’s bar waiting for us after a long day of learning...

The best things aren't things at all. They are people committed to sharing life with you.

#TeamAguilar for the win.

Weeeeee're Back!

Late Friday afternoon MY HUSBAND and I ( :) Can you believe it? ) returned from a really wonderful trip to Austin.

I'll try and post pictures from that soon. Turns out I really love Austin, a lot. And, of course, Mikael too. ;)

After one-last stop in Round Rock (hello Ikea hotdogs!) on the way back, we finally made it home, and I'm excited to settle into life together. You know life post-room service. (Actually, I'll miss the maid service.)

There's a lot to do now that we're back. There's decluttering on my part, and unpacking on his.

And while sending out actual thank-you's is definitely on our list of to-do's, I can't help but start now, by saying THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! Thanks for the love and the dishes, and towels, and Apple Jacks and hand-crafted goodies, and the bag of buttons that made it back from the wedding... we are beyond blessed to know such great people, something we commented on lots while opening cards and reading Mad Libs after arriving at our hotel last week.

 

Like anxious kids on Christmas morning we tore into all the presents as soon as we got back. That was one to-do we were happy to tackle.

It was such a delight coming into the apartment and seeing our spare bedroom (office/music/crafting/guest room) filled with gifts. And they weren't just prettily packaged generic things, they were thoughtful gifts that so perfectly capture us as a pair.

There was a rice cooker (thanks Aaron & Shannon) for him, and a coffee maker for me (thank you CP & Susan), and cute embroidered towels (they're adorable Katie!) and UP (the first thing we registered for - love you Ginny!). That's not to mention an Aguilar tile that travelled all the way from Abilene, and Winnie the Pooh dishes which are super cute.

I could go on and on about all the sweet things we've received. Only not right now, 'cause there's laundry to do. Lots of it. (And so married life begins. ;) )

It truly is humbling realizing we are surrounded (figuratively) by people that love us and are cheering us on, not to metion surrounded (physically) by lovely, tangible evidence of that.

So, thank you to the many people who gifted us with their presence on our special day last week (or rooted us on from afar), and thank those of you who generously funded many a dinner on our honeymoon, and have continued to support us with prayers!

And thanks for filling our living room with gadgets and gizmos aplenty, and our lives with love. :) (How cheesy am I?)

We really cannot thank you enough, but by golly we're gonna try.

Thank you. Thank you.

 

 

 

Baby, It's Stinking Cold Outside

I hate the cold. Literally, I hate it.

I've never been bit by a scorpion or knee-d in the groin (and don't really have to worry about that one), but I imagine being cold will always rank among my least favorite feelings in the world.

Last year, while freezing IN my parents' house, my mom would regularly ask if I was alive, 'cause from the feel of my hands she wasn't sure.

And at least a few times this year, my kind, patient fiance has pried my hands from his face/arm and said, "Baby, your hands are cold."

I know!

My hands are cold. My toes are cold. My face is cold.

 

In that sense, I can very much commiserate with the plight of the dalmations as they walked through the snow. (Remember, "I'm tired, and I'm hungry. And my tail's froze. And my nose is froze. And my ears are froze. And my toes are froze.") I hear ya Lucky! I hear ya.

 

But I'm really wasting time chasing some very cold little rabbits, while trying to make a very big announcement. I'll focus now, or try at least.

 

When we got engaged, Mikael and I fairly quickly settled on a spring wedding. Partly because summer felt hopelessly far away, but also largely because I wanted to have our ceremony outside.

And I didn't want to be cold.

I wanted to be comfortably warm on my wedding day, which seemed reasonable at the time, so we set our date - March 31.

It seemed perfect. We secured a location, the ranch where we attend church on Sundays. (It overlooks the Brazos and is perfect for long, relaxing afternoons enjoying the outdoors. We dreamed up ideas about our families dancing there, and eating bbq there...)

And, over Thanksgiving week we ordered lovely little Save-the-Dates setting 3/31/12 in stone (or at least postcard).

But... the thing about plans is...

Sometimes, they change.

 

For a lot of my life I've been concerned with my comfort. And, I've worried about living up to other people's expectations (real and imagined). I've chosen the path that seemed "right" according to my guidance counselor. And heeded advice from friends and family.

I have sought the Lord, but I haven't wholeheartedly dedicated myself to His will. Instead, I have listened to a million different voices (don't worry, most of them have been outside my own head) when all that really matters is One.

 

Well, the past four months have been absolutely insane, in the most wonderful way. And along with a lot of other changes, the most drastic, apparent and wonderful is the fact that the man I have been praying for, and at times searching frantically for, all these years has arrived at last.

And, as a fictional man once said, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible!"

 

So, over the past few weeks Mikael and I have made some big decisions, very quickly... and put wedding planning into super speed.

We've decided... to get married January 6th, instead of March 31!!!

 

Yes, it means lots of long nights stuffing envelopes. And making some compromises on bridesmaids dresses and flowers. But I know all the stress and rush will be so worth it in the end.

Because instead of waiting for Spring, we will get married in the dead of Winter. And I'll have three extra months to enjoy being Mrs. Aguilar!

 

When we first discussed moving the date I had only one pressing question for my future husband.

"Do you promise to keep me warm?""

He didn't miss a beat before saying "Of course."

And that's why no matter how cold the temperatures drop... how frozen my hands feel... how many layers I have to wear over my dress... I'm not worried about getting cold feet.

'Cause "I've got my love to keep me warm."